First Kiss
by RedTurtleKicks13
Summary: one-shot


**This is Claire and Shane's first kiss from Shane's POV. Just what I thought Shane was thinking during, after and leading up to their kiss. One-shot. Written in third person, mostly. First fan fiction.**

**Disclaimer: All of the characters and spoken dialogue of this first chapter belong to Rachel Caine.**

First Kiss

Shane was lying in bed, thinking, feeling guilty and…uneasy? He wasn't sure if that was the right word. Never before had a girl made him feel this guilty and upset or whatever the hell he was feeling. It felt like some part of him were slowly being torn away from him, and the tearing would last the next two days and maybe a bit longer than that at the rate it was going.

Great, he thought. I'm being tortured by something I can't even explain.

But somehow he knew that it was Claire leaving that had him feeling like this. What the hell!? he thought. This isn't like me; my emotions consist of throwing fits and punches. But tonight, he was realizing his emotions were larger than he had anticipated. It felt like there was something the size of a Webster's Dictionary weighing down his chest and making it hard to breathe. But when he looked down to check, there was nothing there. Fantastic. An emotional thing. He needed something to take this weight away. He needed…

Without even realizing that he was doing it, Shane was on his feet, opening his bedroom door, and walking down the hall.

Suddenly, he found himself in front of Claire's door. Wait, how did I get here? he confusedly asked himself. He vaguely remembered leaving his room and walking down the hall. Now that he was here, he wasn't sure what he was going to do.

So, I'll knock on the door and then what? He asked himself. But unfortunately, it was his subconscious that had led him here, and subconscious's aren't well known for talking.

Then he remembered what he had been thinking about 20 seconds ago. He had a weight on his chest, and he needed something to get rid of it. Okay, I've got that part figured out, he thought. But that didn't change how confused he was. Obviously, Claire had something to do with it, and that's where he was stuck.

Why am I here? his feeling of frustration and his conscious thought set off a feeling of de ja vu. Once he explored deeper into it, he remembered having thought the exact same thing while trying to persuade Alyssa to be careful when she went out because of his feud with Monica.

His argument with her that day had been unsuccessful, and at the time, he knew it would be. Claire reminded him so much of Alyssa, but yet she was so different.

They both got the same look in their eye when they were determined, and their looks of defiance were too close to contrast. He smiled, continuing with more comparisons in his head. They were so alike that he wanted Claire to be safe.

That's it, he thought. He would go in there and tell Claire that she couldn't leave the house for the next two days. There shouldn't be a problem because if Claire was leaving Morganville, she wouldn't need to go to school. Plus, he would be able to spend more time with Claire before she left. Shane didn't want to ask himself why that had popped into his head.

But Claire probably wouldn't listen, just like Alyssa. He had to at least try. And also he needed to come up with a good reason for her to not leave over the next two days. He didn't have to think long before he came up with a valid enough reason. It was lame, but he had to try.

Shane lifted his hand to knock on the door. Wait, he thought, his knuckles an inch from the wood. She's probably asleep. He cocked his head to the side so he could try and hear any movement behind the door. He thought he heard a rustling of sheets and the squeaking of bed springs. A restless night maybe?

Suddenly Shane wasn't so sure he wanted to do this. If she was in fact awake, that would mean he had to talk to her since he knocked on her door. But if he waited until morning…no. That wouldn't work for Shane. She would probably still leave. He had to do this now. And if Claire didn't answer the door, then he could try in the morning.

As softly as he could, Shane knocked on Claire's door, half wishing she wouldn't answer. But he only waited about five seconds before she did.

Oh my God. When Shane saw her, he had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to go in there and hold her and keep her safe from all the vampires and evil demons and monsters in the world. But somehow he was able to not give in, and he just stood there looking at her, battling with himself about whether to rush in there right now or not.

Once he recovered from the strange feeling, he was able to notice that she was wearing an oversized t-shirt that went to her mid-thigh. She looked…hot.

Again, the feeling of wanting to rush in there came over him, and he immediately scolded himself for thinking that. Claire was off-limits.

"Hi," she said, bringing him back to now.

Shane realized he hadn't said anything yet. "Hi," he replied. "Did I wake you up?"

"No. I couldn't sleep." Vaguely, Shane noticed the covers on her bed were all twisted. "Um, do you want to um…come in?"

That was Claire, always trying to do the proper thing. "Better not," he answered. He didn't want to do anything he didn't want to, and not going in her room made it easier. "Claire, I-" Shane shook his head, not sure how to start. "I shouldn't even be here." Because he shouldn't. He knew Claire wouldn't listen to him , and now he wasn't even sure why he was trying. But he noticed that he also wasn't leaving, so he might as well go ahead and get it over with.

"Well," she said. "I'm sitting down. If you want to stand there, fine." She turned around and walked to her bed, and sat on it, legs together, not letting anything show. She glanced at her fingernails and picked at them, avoiding his eyes.

Shane took two steps into the room feeling safer now that she was sitting. It's now or never, he thought. "For the next two days, I don't want you leaving the house." Even though Claire's head was bowed, Shane could see her eyebrows shoot up. She was obviously surprised by what he said. "Your dad already thinks we're getting you drunk and staging orgies in the hallway." Lame excuse, out of the way, he thought. But hopefully that'll help her see reason. "Last thing I want is to send you home with fang marks in your neck. Or in a coffin." He was surprised to find that that was true. He lowered his voice and said, "I couldn't stand that. I really couldn't. You know that, right?"

Suddenly Shane needed her to stay, to see reason. Unconsciously, he stepped toward her so he was right in front of her, and she stopped picking at her nails. "Claire. You've got to promise me."

"I can't," she said, not looking up, "I'm not some little kid. And I'm not your sister."

Shane laughed at the irony, seeing as he had just thought the same thing. "Oh, yeah. That, I know. But I don't want to see you get hurt again."

This wasn't working. So in a moment of desperation, he leaned down and cupped her face, tilting it upward. The world stopped as he hesitated for one second, and then he pressed his lips to hers. There was half a second of surprise, and then she responded.

Claire tasted good. Somewhere between vanilla and chocolate, or maybe both. And something like…light. He instantly wanted to taste more of her. But he reminded himself that he had already made the stupid, desperate act of kissing her once. He didn't want to do anything he might regret by continuing.

Reluctantly, Shane pulled away. Instead of standing all the way up, he leaned his forehead against hers and sighed, expecting her to agree to not leave the house. Instead, she surprised him by kissing him.

He felt instinct take over, and he pulled her up so they were both standing, their hands clasped. It wasn't too long before he realized that they shouldn't be doing this. Claire was underage, and seeing as there was a bed not even a foot away, Shane realized they needed to stop.

Shane pulled all the way back, his heart racing, and feeling warm all over. Claire looked like she was too. She was deeply flushed, and her lips were slightly swollen.

"Okay," Shane said, "That-that shouldn't have happened." Especially the part where he lost control, he added in his head, scolding himself. But he didn't regret it.

"Probably not," she agreed. "But I'm leaving in two days. It'd be stupid if I never even kissed you." Neither did she, apparently.

Then their lips were together again, and Shane couldn't figure out who kissed whom. But it didn't matter. It was…amazing. If the world had crumbled around them at that moment, Shane wouldn't have noticed.

His hands were free this time, and he let them roam, cupping her face, and stroking her hair and neck, and down to her shoulder….

And then she gasped into his open mouth and he moaned, giving up the last small amount of restraint that was in him, and letting the part of him that wanted to do this take control. He felt electricity all over, and it was like his body was humming with energy.

His hands stopped at her waist, and that was when their tongues touched. It was gentle and tentative, and it was a whole new reaction for Shane. He had never had a kiss like this before. It was like the light that Claire tasted like was flowing into him, making him see new things.

He put his right arm around her waist and cupped the back of her head with his left, thinking how beautiful Claire was. He wondered why he had never tried kissing her before; it was better than he'd ever had in his life, and Claire was so unbelievably sexy….

As soon as that final thought came to mind, the more rational part of his brain reminded him that HE WAS KISSING CLAIRE! So he slowly let go of her, letting her fall back to sit on the bed. For half an instant, he wanted to join her, but his rational side was in charge, and instead he took two giant steps backward.

He turned and walked the rest of the way into the hall. He stood there for a while, taking deep breaths, thinking, all the while feeling Claire's eyes watching him.

"Okay," he said, slowly turning around, but not trusting himself to take a step in any direction, knowing which direction he would most likely be going in. "Okay, that really shouldn't have happened. And we're not going to talk about this, right? Ever?" He had to make sure that she wouldn't go blabbing to Eve about it, wondering what it could mean. Which was nothing. Shane saw this as a mistake, and he wanted to get rid of it.

"Right," she said, sounding breathless. "Never happened."

That wasn't good enough for Shane. He needed her to know that they couldn't let this happen again, that she was too young.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, not sure what to say or how he should say it. Claire was sitting there, looking every inch of perfection, and he closed his eyes to attempt to stop that thought in its tracks. "Claire-" he started.

"I know," she said before he could get the words out.

"Lock the door," he told her, feeling he couldn't trust himself if it was only closed.

She got up and closed it most of the way, then one glance at Shane, and she closed it completely. Shane heard the dead bolt flip on the other side and he immediately slumped against it, his back to the door.

Then he realized that he wasn't alone in the hallway; Michael was standing in front of his bedroom door, looking surprised at Shane.

"I am so dead," Shane muttered, looking at Michael's confusedly surprised face.


End file.
